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Mid-July 2017

Hi y’all! Hope you are all enjoying your summer. So far, my MS symptoms haven’t been a problem, even though it’s been pretty hot here in STL. I’ve even gone on walks outside and not had problems! Praise the Lord!

I have been sleeping a lot on weekends though. Not sure if it’s MS fatigue or if I’m just not sleeping well during the week and am trying to catch up. I’m trying to wear my CPAP every night, which really helps. No, I haven’t been wearing it faithfully for a while, but I’m changing that! Slept a lot this weekend, mostly due to (I think) allergies, which lead to sinus pain, which leads to toothaches. Ibuprofen is my friend!

Earned an A in my last class! Now my GPA is 3.22 🙂 Taking 2 classes right now, a bit overwhelming. But I’ll make it. One class I’m retaking because I earned a D in it the first time. Some of the work I’ve already done, so that helps, but they changed a lot of the format.  Which actually makes it a little easier this time around.

Saw my PCP and GYNO recently. All pretty good, just focusing on losing weight, as usual. Which has been happening, just slowly. I’ve lost inches, but the scale isn’t moving too much. But some of my clothes are getting too big, so that’s a good thing! Still working out with the trainer and loving it! Anyway, we’re also watching my BP, it might be getting too low. Could that be causing some of the sleepiness? Maybe, I guess. My PCP also mentioned getting an ablation, which I’m not sure I’m quite ready for. I don’t plan on having kids, but that seems a little invasive. We’ll see, if things in that area don’t improve, it might be an option, I’ll have to talk with my GYNO. Nothing too scary, but probably a little TMI for here already!!

So, dad’s OK. Mom’s OK. Hard to watch your parents age though. Mom had a little scare the other day, but she’s good. Dad’s at home at least.

Work’s OK. Some days are super busy and drain my brain power. Still love my job, just a lot going on – a lot of hiring, which that’s my main area.

Ever mess up something in your life and think you’ll never get back to where you were? I know, kinda vague, bear with me. I know God is like a GPS, He has a destination set for us, and even if we take a wrong turn, He can still get us there. I’ve probably shared that before, not an original thought, but a comforting one. I just think I went down a path that I shouldn’t have and feel like I lost a lot of ground. Ground in my friendships, leadership, walk with God, reputation, etc. I’m feeling condemned, which isn’t from God and I know that. I just, I don’t know, wish things were different. I know He’s forgiven me because I’ve repented and all, but there’s still the regret and remorse. Guess maybe I’m mourning the mistakes I’ve made?

But that’s all in the past and I need to look forward. He has amazing things in store for me, and I want to follow hard after Him. Whatever and wherever that may entail. I’m excited for my future and His plans for me. I know that last paragraph might sound otherwise, I was just lamenting. Things are getting back on track and I’ll be OK.

Thanks for sticking with me through my (sometimes mis-)adventures!

April 2017

Hey y’all! I know, I’ve been quiet lately. Seems like a lot is going on in my life, just not much to talk about though.

Job is still going well. Got a new boss, and so far so good. I was directly reporting to the VP, now we’ve hired a Director. So it’s a new dynamic, but I think it’ll work out well.  We’re getting ready to move offices, they’re turning the building we’re in now into another school. Growth is good, just a little painful sometimes! 

School’s OK. Making an A so far in my research class. I know, basically, what I’m doing when it comes to writing and research. Enough to get by anyway, but I definitely have room to grow. Especially since I’m going on to get my Master’s degree after I graduate with my Bachelor’s next year. Which, is an area I’m seeking wisdom from God in… there are a bunch of schools who offer the degree I’m pursuing (MSW), both online and in person, with varying tuition rates and areas of concentration. I’m not sure where to go. I know I’ve got some time, but I think it’s wise to start researching my possibilities now. Online school works for me, but maybe I need to do live classes for my graduate degree? Tuition is less for 1, for 2 it might help me stay on track faster. But which school, and what concentration? Hmmm….

Training is good. I really enjoy working out with a trainer, he’s great. Like I’ve said before, I’m focusing on the weight I’m lifting, not the weight I’m losing. But I know I’d lose faster if I ate better. Fast food is just too convenient! meal prep is key for me, I just have to make time for it. On that, I did a 5k a couple of weeks ago! Did  OK considering the weight gain over the past 2 years. I’m a little peeved at the people though, they cheated us out of a 1/4 a mile because we were in the back of the pack and they needed to save time, I’m assuming anyway. I had an app going that measures your distance and time and it ended up being 2.86 miles instead of 3.1. so my time doesn’t mean as much to me as it would have.  They sent a survey today, I let them know what happened and that they shouldn’t do that next year. I did get another medal to add to my collection though 🙂

I’m going to start hosting/leading a small care/fellowship group in June. I think we’re going to go through the book of James and have dinner together on Sundays. Praying about that too.

Ever get caught up in the ‘what if’ trap? it’s not fun. you know, what if I hadn’t made that decision or chosen that path. where would I be now if I had made different choices? what if God did tell me to do (or not do) such-and-such, would my life be radically different? did I miss God’s plan?  Am I experiencing His best regardless of those choices? Can I, should I, try to undo things? I know the answer is God works out all things and He has a plan, etc. I guess that just sounds cliche.

Off that rabbit trail… I’m excited to go to DC next month! Going for chaplain training and some time away. Hope the kitties are OK with no one to snuggle with for a few days!

Hope you all are well! I’d better go, lots of things to do! 

Mid February 2017

I totally missed the month of January, didn’t I? Feels like I’m about to miss February too if I’m not careful!

Been an interesting couple months since I wrote last. I turned 38. Which seems odd, I’m pretty sure I was just 28! Not facing 40 already! Had a painting party for my big day, mine is pictured below:

20170129_160125It was a fun time, I love doing things like that, especially with friends! Now I just have to get that hung on the wall!

School’s going OK. I’m a little behind in my current class, but I seem to say that a lot. Getting ready to register for Summer classes tomorrow. Which means I’m in the home stretch for graduating next year! Crazy me, I’m planning on going on to get my Masters soon after that, but one thing at a time!

Mike and I are on a break. I know, bad timing with V-day here, but it is what it is.

Anyway, also been nursing a sick kitty 😦 They both have feline herpes, which apparently is common with shelter pets. They get it in their nose, like humans get cold sores. He sounds more like he has an upper respiratory infection, so I’ll call the vet in a couple of days if it doesn’t clear up with the lysine she gave me for the herpes. Poor baby! They also had bad cases of ear mites recently too. Besides that, they’re completely spoiled and seem very happy 🙂

I feel like all I do is attempt to catch up with life these days. With some advice from my trainer (aka my therapist sometimes!), I’ve started scheduling out my week in order to develop a routine. Took a stab at it last week and it really helped. I just try to give 110% to everything and that doesn’t work! Not that I want to slack off in any area of my life, I just need to find balance and set priorities. Pray for me!

Buried my grandma’s ashes last week. Short and simple Scripture reading and prayer at the grave site, she was cremated back in November and we waited until her birthday to bury her. I know she’s with the Lord, but I still miss her and her wit.

I had a goal to dead-lift 125 lbs by my birthday. A little late, but I crushed that goal last week! 135 lbs – 2 sets of 5 lifts! Go me! I’m also further along in the Couch to 5K program than I’ve ever been! Feeling good! I made a deal with my trainer to not look at the scale for a while, and I’ve stuck to it. I have no idea if I’ve lost any weight, but I need to not focus on that number right now. I was stressing over it big time. I’m choosing to focus on the dead lifting and squatting numbers instead.

Work is still going well. I really like it here and hope to be here a long time. Yeah, I’m making less money, but I’m happy and more fulfilled – that’s what matters.

Speaking of work, my lunch is about over. I’ll talk to you all again soon, I hope!!

September 2016 #2

Met with my trainer yesterday and we did a monthly assessment of my progress. I’m doing well on training and cardio, but not so well with diet/nutrition. So, overhaul in process. I feel stronger, but not dropping weight or inches, so this has to be the missing piece of the puzzle. Even though I’ve been logging calories for 6 1/2 years (!), it’s time to get back to weighing and measuring everything, in order to re calibrate my ‘eyeballing it’. Daunting, but exciting to see where this will take me.

I think I’ve got a handle on the emotional eating issue. Most of my problem is eating out and convenience foods. Going to try more meal prep early in the week and limit eating out to just Sundays after church. Hopefully we’ll see more progress in the numbers at the beginning of October!

Shameless plug… I had a Park Land Jewelry party last Saturday, if you interested in shopping/ordering anything, here’s the link to my party (orders due in Friday morning 9/9/16): click HERE

I haven’t talked about Mike in a while. I don’t know, just seems like I talked about our relationship a bit too much early on. Basically, we’re dating. Nothing serious, and we’re not planning on getting married. I know that’s a huge turn-around from last year, but I really don’t know if I’ll ever get married. We have a few theological issues that we differ on still, issues that neither of us are going to budge on, and that’s OK. We still enjoy each others company, and maybe we should just be friends. I really don’t know the answers. What’s the point of dating if we’re not going to get married, especially at our ages? Companionship for one. But are we holding the other back from anything? Maybe. Pray along with me/us for wisdom. Thanks.

What else… still looking for a job. Just contacted another recruiting agency to see if they have anything. Waiting to hear back from them to set up an interview. There are jobs out there, it’s just hard to find the right one. God has a plan, He always does, but I miss the comfort of my old job though. Change can be good, but isn’t always fun!

A lot going on in my head, but nothing else that I can put into words. So much, but nothing at all, ya know what I mean?

On that note, I best stop writing or I’ll start rambling! Talk to you again soon 🙂

September 2016

I love fall! I know it’s still summer, but September means fall is almost here 🙂 I much prefer Fall temps, colors, smells, clothes, etc. I’m not really a fan of Halloween though, but to each their own. Hard to believe it’s already September, though, right? I mean, Christmas is just around the corner! Yay!

Job front – signed up with a temp agency last week. I’m not wanting to do temp work, but looking for temp – to – perm positions. With the end of the year sneaking up on us, I need to keep in mind health insurance issues. I’m on COBRA right now, but that probably won’t make sense Jan 1st when the deductibles start over. Hopefully, I can get started somewhere soon. Keep me in your prayers! Thanks!

Went with my dad to his MS check up yesterday. I hate this disease! My case isn’t so bad, but it’s hitting him a lot harder. I really hope they find a cure soon. Speaking of, even though I’ve been working out more and walking outside when it’s been warm and humid, I’m doing pretty well. Again, another reason I love Fall – walking outside without all the humidity in St Louis.

I’m coping with the depression. Talking about it last month helped some. It’s hard to explain, but sometimes I just feel down. I’m hanging in there and not doing too bad, I just know things aren’t right sometimes.

Started a class on the book of Romans this week. Good study material, but a little intimidated by the 10-15 page research paper due in 7 weeks! It’s an upper level class, so it’s to be expected, but I’ve told you before how much I dislike writing papers. I just have to not put this off, like I usually do! Also on the school note, I should finish my studies at the end of next year, which means my graduation will be May 19, 2018!

Well, I gotta get ready for my workout with my trainer. It’s still going well, by the way. I’m starting to notice muscles and stamina growing, so that’s awesome!

Alright, take care and take to you again soon!

 

Mid-July 2016

Hi everyone. I know it’s been awhile, but things have been rough.

Let me explain…

So my last day at the plant was June 24th. I spent most of the next couple weeks attempting to get caught up in my homework. Didn’t do too well. Haven’t received my final grade, but right now we’re looking at a D. I think that means I’ll have to retake the class. Which might push graduation out to the middle of 2018 instead of the end of 2017. We’ll see though. I might be able to double up with this class and another since it would be my 2nd attempt and would know the coursework already.

Currently taking Marriage and Family Counseling. So far so good.

I joined a gym and hired a personal trainer. Loving it so far. Down a few pounds and starting to feel stronger. Doing things I never thought I would, which is a good and exciting thing. My trainer is pretty cool too, he lost 100 pounds and is a Christian. So he kinda gets where I’m coming from.

Job searching pretty much sucks. Had 1 interview so far and it just wasn’t a good fit. Got my resume out to a few other places, but no call backs yet. God has something for me, I know, just waiting to see which door opens.

So, here’s the worst news… I had to put my kitty down. Fitz had been suffering from cancer and it was just getting worse. I choose to do it a few days ago before he suffered anymore. He went peacefully and I sobbed. I miss him a lot and still look for him around the apartment. I was able to get a paw print before it happened, so I think I know what my next tattoo will be. But he was y fur-baby and I will miss him and his snuggles.

Not much else going on. Trying to keep busy living off the severance pay.

Beginning of May 2016 #changes

Hi everyone!

So I definitely cannot say that my stress level is much lower (see last post for details).

First off, the place that I have worked at for 15 1/2 years is closing its doors 😦 The economy got the better of us. So I’m still there for a month or two to help selling/ship/inventory everything, but after that I got nothing so far. They are giving us severance packages that will keep me afloat for a while though.

Can’t say I’m all that surprised. Well, yeah I can. We expected a lay-off and probably a big one at that, but not a closure. Part of me is still in shock and numb, part is angry, and believe it or not, part of me is excited. I’m going to miss the place/company/friends from the plant, but I totally believe God has something amazing in store for me (and everyone else for that matter). It’ll be OK. Just have to take it one step at a time.

For now I’m not sure what I want to do or where God’s leading me. Career change? Maybe. Guess time will tell. The state of Missouri will pay for me to go back to school to learn a new trade if I want. Could be interesting, maybe something I could use on the mission field??

Besides that, getting ready to end the Spring semester of 2016 at Liberty. Then starting Summer right away. I’m looking at graduating at the end of 2017 or beginning of 2018.

I’ve been at risk for diabetes for years, and through gaining 30 pounds in a year, I recently crossed over the line to an official diagnoses. 😦 I desperately have to lose weight now. I don’t want to be like this anymore! My cholesterol numbers are really bad too, so the doctor is giving me 3 months to see what I can do with diet and exercise, then we’ll re-test. So I plan to religiously log my calories and walk at least 4 times a week for 30 minutes each. I might even look into joining a gym, like one of the $10/month ones, just so I can walk on a treadmill once the temps get too hot.

I’m leaving for Japan in 15 days! Yep, still going. Tickets and reservations were made well in advance of the closure announcement, so I’m trusting God that He had it all planned out. Which He did, of course! Still need a little more as far as fund-raising goes, so ask if you’re interested in supporting me.  Also room on my prayer team if you’re interested in that!

Well, lunch break is about over. I’ll talk to you all again soon!