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Late October 2017

Fall break is on!!

Such a much-needed break! 1 more class then Christmas/Winter break! Yay! Only 3 classes left until graduation! Just received my final grade in the last class, even though I was late on multiple assignments and stressed out, still earned a B, 6 points away from an A. I’ll take it!!

So, my master’s degree. Yeah, I don’t know. If my end goal or dream job is to be a missionary, do I really need to keep going to school… and increasing my student loan debt? Probably not. I do (did?) enjoy organized learning, but I think I’m burnt out. This happened at the end of high school too. I was supposed to go off to college on the East coast somewhere fancy, but got burnt out my senior year and ended up going to community college for a while and entering the work force. I do not regret that at all, mind you. I’ve changed my mind so many times on what I wanted to do when I grew up, that I would have had so much more debt if I’d kept going to school through the years. I am proud and humbled to earn my Bachelor degree, but I don’t think jumping into more schooling is going to be wise. I still have time to make a decision, so I’m not set either way right now. Prayers for wisdom and guidance are appreciated.

Thinking and praying about where I’m headed next in ministry. I’m pretty sure the new role I’m taking, just seeking out what that looks like. I’m excited about it though, so that’s good! Can’t give away too much yet, but it involves cameras and people 🙂

What has God been teaching you lately? I think I mentioned this a blog or two ago, but I’m learning to take it all one step at a time. While there’s wisdom in planning for the future, if those plans are not prayed through, they fail. I get excited easily about things and think, “this is it!” Only to find later that it wasn’t ‘it’. Know what I mean? Relationships, career paths, schooling pursuits, mission trip opportunities… the list goes on. Being flexible when learning God’s will is so vital, and so hard!

I mentioned in my last entry that my blood work wasn’t very good. After talking with my trainer and my doctor I’m not freaking out as much. This was just a wake up call. The exercising I’ve been doing over the past 16 months is great, I really appreciate what I’ve learned from my trainer and what I’ve accomplished. I just need to work on my eating. I stress eat so easily and need to get a handle on my stress. Easier said than done, right? Learning to say ‘no’ is important, and to not worry about what people think about me for saying ‘no’ is even more important.

Thought I had something else to say… oh well. I’ll write again soon!

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Mid-October 2017

Look at that! 2x already in one month! Told ya I was hoping to write more often.

I’m writing to vent on myself. I received some blood test results this morning and I’m upset. It seems like the harder I try to get things right, the worse they get. My A1C was the highest its been in over 7 years. My triglycerides have increased again and my HDL has dropped. I meet with the doctor next week, and I already know what she’ll say. That I need to workout more and eat less junk. After ‘injuring’ my ankle last month, I haven’t been able to workout as much. Plus, with all the stress at work, it’s been really hard to have the energy to workout before the ‘injury.’ My eating hasn’t been the greatest, but I eat my emotions and again, with the stress of work and studying, I haven’t made the best choices.

So, why do I say the harder I try the worse things get? I really do feel like I’ve been trying! It’s just when I look back over the past few months, I don’t see the fruit of that trying.

Maybe these numbers will be the kick in the pants that I need???? Nothing else has seemed to work. 😦

Ugh!

At least the stress at work is letting up and I’m almost finished with this one class.

Something clicked in my motivation 7  years ago and I lost a lot of weight and my numbers were looking good. I need to have that ‘click’ again somehow.

I know, pray about it, right? Sometimes that seems so cliché. I’ve asked God for years to help me get healthy. I know it’s a matter of my will depending on His strength. I know that in my head and not so much in my heart, I guess.

Any tips? 

End of August 2017

Hard to believe September starts tomorrow! I’ve said it many times before, I love Fall, but this summer flew by. Took two classes and have a lot going on at work, so I feel like I am always busy.

Glad to be back down to only 1 class. Took counseling for women and retook Acts this summer. A in one, C in the other. 10 points from a B with that C, but that doesn’t matter. Now I’m taking Theological Interpretation of Scripture. Hopefully it won’t be as hard as it sounds like it will from the title. With that, 4 classes to go! Less than 9 months until graduation! Not that I’m counting down or anything!

My coworker quit and another gave her notice. So we’re interviewing but things are busy. I’m hiring about 35 people at the moment and each requires approximately 50 pages of paperwork. That’s a lot of faxes, emails, and meetings! Not to mention if they are in the school and need fingerprints or a therapist and need to go through getting billable through insurances. On top of that, all the day-to-day stuff with existing employees, of which we have over 450 on our campus alone. Can you see why I’m exhausted at 4pm?

Then have to do homework, work out, do laundry, etc. etc. etc. I am so grateful for not having kids! Sleep is hard enough to come by!

Dead-lifted 160 (or was it 165?) the other day! Squatted 135! While the scale actually went up this morning, I’m definitely getting stronger. Some of my clothes are getting loose too 🙂

Haven’t told you my other news this month! I’m no longer the Director/Pastor of the Senior Citizens’ Ministry at church anymore. God seemed to reveal to my Pastor and I that my assignment was coming to and end. Someone else has already taken over, and I’m moving on. I’m going to do more with photography and tech stuff, just not sure what that all looks like, but I’m excited. My ego/pride is a little upset that I won’t be in leadership per se, but my stress level is certainly going to be lower! With starting my Masters program next year, somethings are going to have to be given up or set aside for a couple years. Guess this was just the beginning.

Went to the Festival of Nations last weekend and walked about 7.3 miles in one day. It wasn’t too hot, but we were in the sun a lot. I had no MS symptoms even though I was exhausted. Had a good time and ate some good food, including a dish I hadn’t had since West Africa in 2013!

Well, that’s about all the updates I’ve got for now. Be blessed everyone!

Mid-July 2017

Hi y’all! Hope you are all enjoying your summer. So far, my MS symptoms haven’t been a problem, even though it’s been pretty hot here in STL. I’ve even gone on walks outside and not had problems! Praise the Lord!

I have been sleeping a lot on weekends though. Not sure if it’s MS fatigue or if I’m just not sleeping well during the week and am trying to catch up. I’m trying to wear my CPAP every night, which really helps. No, I haven’t been wearing it faithfully for a while, but I’m changing that! Slept a lot this weekend, mostly due to (I think) allergies, which lead to sinus pain, which leads to toothaches. Ibuprofen is my friend!

Earned an A in my last class! Now my GPA is 3.22 🙂 Taking 2 classes right now, a bit overwhelming. But I’ll make it. One class I’m retaking because I earned a D in it the first time. Some of the work I’ve already done, so that helps, but they changed a lot of the format.  Which actually makes it a little easier this time around.

Saw my PCP and GYNO recently. All pretty good, just focusing on losing weight, as usual. Which has been happening, just slowly. I’ve lost inches, but the scale isn’t moving too much. But some of my clothes are getting too big, so that’s a good thing! Still working out with the trainer and loving it! Anyway, we’re also watching my BP, it might be getting too low. Could that be causing some of the sleepiness? Maybe, I guess. My PCP also mentioned getting an ablation, which I’m not sure I’m quite ready for. I don’t plan on having kids, but that seems a little invasive. We’ll see, if things in that area don’t improve, it might be an option, I’ll have to talk with my GYNO. Nothing too scary, but probably a little TMI for here already!!

So, dad’s OK. Mom’s OK. Hard to watch your parents age though. Mom had a little scare the other day, but she’s good. Dad’s at home at least.

Work’s OK. Some days are super busy and drain my brain power. Still love my job, just a lot going on – a lot of hiring, which that’s my main area.

Ever mess up something in your life and think you’ll never get back to where you were? I know, kinda vague, bear with me. I know God is like a GPS, He has a destination set for us, and even if we take a wrong turn, He can still get us there. I’ve probably shared that before, not an original thought, but a comforting one. I just think I went down a path that I shouldn’t have and feel like I lost a lot of ground. Ground in my friendships, leadership, walk with God, reputation, etc. I’m feeling condemned, which isn’t from God and I know that. I just, I don’t know, wish things were different. I know He’s forgiven me because I’ve repented and all, but there’s still the regret and remorse. Guess maybe I’m mourning the mistakes I’ve made?

But that’s all in the past and I need to look forward. He has amazing things in store for me, and I want to follow hard after Him. Whatever and wherever that may entail. I’m excited for my future and His plans for me. I know that last paragraph might sound otherwise, I was just lamenting. Things are getting back on track and I’ll be OK.

Thanks for sticking with me through my (sometimes mis-)adventures!

Mid-June 2017

Time slips through one’s fingers when they’re having fun, huh? Not exactly the case here, time rushes out of my fingers when things are busy!  As usual, I’m super busy these days. A lot going on, some of which I can share…

My dad’s been in the hospital/rehab for quite a few weeks now. He comes home today though. He requires 24-hour care, so there’s a burden on my mom. Who’s stress test came back a little abnormal and she has to have further testing done :(. Not sure what’s going on there, hope to find out soon though. Dads’s doing better though. The MS took a toll on him plus he wasn’t eating well. Prayers appreciated for both of them (all of us!!)

School’s going OK. Got behind in a class with all that’s going on, but am up-to-date now and making an A 🙂

Work’s going OK. We seem to be on a hiring frenzy, so I’m super busy. I think that’s why seems I’m so overwhelmed… a lot of my energy is used up before I get home. It’s all good though, just learning to balance everything.

Had a spasm in my back/sciatic area over the weekend. I was supposed to do a 5k on Sunday, but that wasn’t happening! I could barely move! I’m a lot better now – between prayer, chiropractor, trainer stretches, and ice – I’m almost back to normal. It was going to be my first summer 5k though and it was mostly downhill. Oh well, maybe next year!

We did personality studies as an HR team in order to get to know each other better. I’m an INFP. Basically I’m an introvert, creative, independent, diplomatic, all things I already knew! But it was cool to one, be verified, and two, get to know my co-workers. I am a minority though, out of 15, only a 3 of us are introverts!

Well, that’s about all I can share at the moment. Talk to you soon!

April 2017

Hey y’all! I know, I’ve been quiet lately. Seems like a lot is going on in my life, just not much to talk about though.

Job is still going well. Got a new boss, and so far so good. I was directly reporting to the VP, now we’ve hired a Director. So it’s a new dynamic, but I think it’ll work out well.  We’re getting ready to move offices, they’re turning the building we’re in now into another school. Growth is good, just a little painful sometimes! 

School’s OK. Making an A so far in my research class. I know, basically, what I’m doing when it comes to writing and research. Enough to get by anyway, but I definitely have room to grow. Especially since I’m going on to get my Master’s degree after I graduate with my Bachelor’s next year. Which, is an area I’m seeking wisdom from God in… there are a bunch of schools who offer the degree I’m pursuing (MSW), both online and in person, with varying tuition rates and areas of concentration. I’m not sure where to go. I know I’ve got some time, but I think it’s wise to start researching my possibilities now. Online school works for me, but maybe I need to do live classes for my graduate degree? Tuition is less for 1, for 2 it might help me stay on track faster. But which school, and what concentration? Hmmm….

Training is good. I really enjoy working out with a trainer, he’s great. Like I’ve said before, I’m focusing on the weight I’m lifting, not the weight I’m losing. But I know I’d lose faster if I ate better. Fast food is just too convenient! meal prep is key for me, I just have to make time for it. On that, I did a 5k a couple of weeks ago! Did  OK considering the weight gain over the past 2 years. I’m a little peeved at the people though, they cheated us out of a 1/4 a mile because we were in the back of the pack and they needed to save time, I’m assuming anyway. I had an app going that measures your distance and time and it ended up being 2.86 miles instead of 3.1. so my time doesn’t mean as much to me as it would have.  They sent a survey today, I let them know what happened and that they shouldn’t do that next year. I did get another medal to add to my collection though 🙂

I’m going to start hosting/leading a small care/fellowship group in June. I think we’re going to go through the book of James and have dinner together on Sundays. Praying about that too.

Ever get caught up in the ‘what if’ trap? it’s not fun. you know, what if I hadn’t made that decision or chosen that path. where would I be now if I had made different choices? what if God did tell me to do (or not do) such-and-such, would my life be radically different? did I miss God’s plan?  Am I experiencing His best regardless of those choices? Can I, should I, try to undo things? I know the answer is God works out all things and He has a plan, etc. I guess that just sounds cliche.

Off that rabbit trail… I’m excited to go to DC next month! Going for chaplain training and some time away. Hope the kitties are OK with no one to snuggle with for a few days!

Hope you all are well! I’d better go, lots of things to do! 

Mid February 2017

I totally missed the month of January, didn’t I? Feels like I’m about to miss February too if I’m not careful!

Been an interesting couple months since I wrote last. I turned 38. Which seems odd, I’m pretty sure I was just 28! Not facing 40 already! Had a painting party for my big day, mine is pictured below:

20170129_160125It was a fun time, I love doing things like that, especially with friends! Now I just have to get that hung on the wall!

School’s going OK. I’m a little behind in my current class, but I seem to say that a lot. Getting ready to register for Summer classes tomorrow. Which means I’m in the home stretch for graduating next year! Crazy me, I’m planning on going on to get my Masters soon after that, but one thing at a time!

Mike and I are on a break. I know, bad timing with V-day here, but it is what it is.

Anyway, also been nursing a sick kitty 😦 They both have feline herpes, which apparently is common with shelter pets. They get it in their nose, like humans get cold sores. He sounds more like he has an upper respiratory infection, so I’ll call the vet in a couple of days if it doesn’t clear up with the lysine she gave me for the herpes. Poor baby! They also had bad cases of ear mites recently too. Besides that, they’re completely spoiled and seem very happy 🙂

I feel like all I do is attempt to catch up with life these days. With some advice from my trainer (aka my therapist sometimes!), I’ve started scheduling out my week in order to develop a routine. Took a stab at it last week and it really helped. I just try to give 110% to everything and that doesn’t work! Not that I want to slack off in any area of my life, I just need to find balance and set priorities. Pray for me!

Buried my grandma’s ashes last week. Short and simple Scripture reading and prayer at the grave site, she was cremated back in November and we waited until her birthday to bury her. I know she’s with the Lord, but I still miss her and her wit.

I had a goal to dead-lift 125 lbs by my birthday. A little late, but I crushed that goal last week! 135 lbs – 2 sets of 5 lifts! Go me! I’m also further along in the Couch to 5K program than I’ve ever been! Feeling good! I made a deal with my trainer to not look at the scale for a while, and I’ve stuck to it. I have no idea if I’ve lost any weight, but I need to not focus on that number right now. I was stressing over it big time. I’m choosing to focus on the dead lifting and squatting numbers instead.

Work is still going well. I really like it here and hope to be here a long time. Yeah, I’m making less money, but I’m happy and more fulfilled – that’s what matters.

Speaking of work, my lunch is about over. I’ll talk to you all again soon, I hope!!